Forgiveness, Part II
A Process Model of Forgiveness
Developmental psychologist Robert Enright provides a process model of forgiveness that could be applied to forgiveness interventions with individuals or groups.
In an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education (Heller, 1998), he outlines the following nine steps toward forgiveness:
1.. Acknowledge your emotions. Whether you are angry, hurt, ashamed, or embarrassed (or some combination of the above), acknowledge your emotional reaction to the wrongdoing.
2.. Go beyond identifying the person who hurt you and articulate the specific behaviors that upset or hurt you.
3.. Make the choice to forgive.
4.. Explain to yourself why you made the decision to forgive. Your reasons can be as practical as wanting to be free of the anger so that you can concentrate better at work.
5.. Attempt to "walk in the shoes" of the other person. Consider that person's vulnerabilities.
6.. Make a commitment to not pass along the pain you have endured-even to the person who hurt you in the first place.
7.. Decide instead to offer the world mercy and goodwill. At this stage, you may wish to reconcile with the other person (but that's not necessary).
8.. Reflect on how it feels to let go of a grudge. Find meaning in the suffering you experienced and overcame.
9.. Discover the paradox of forgiveness: As you give the gift of forgiveness to others, you receive the gift of peace.
This was taken from AHC Newsletter, available at: www.coachingtowardhappiness.com
Developmental psychologist Robert Enright provides a process model of forgiveness that could be applied to forgiveness interventions with individuals or groups.
In an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education (Heller, 1998), he outlines the following nine steps toward forgiveness:
1.. Acknowledge your emotions. Whether you are angry, hurt, ashamed, or embarrassed (or some combination of the above), acknowledge your emotional reaction to the wrongdoing.
2.. Go beyond identifying the person who hurt you and articulate the specific behaviors that upset or hurt you.
3.. Make the choice to forgive.
4.. Explain to yourself why you made the decision to forgive. Your reasons can be as practical as wanting to be free of the anger so that you can concentrate better at work.
5.. Attempt to "walk in the shoes" of the other person. Consider that person's vulnerabilities.
6.. Make a commitment to not pass along the pain you have endured-even to the person who hurt you in the first place.
7.. Decide instead to offer the world mercy and goodwill. At this stage, you may wish to reconcile with the other person (but that's not necessary).
8.. Reflect on how it feels to let go of a grudge. Find meaning in the suffering you experienced and overcame.
9.. Discover the paradox of forgiveness: As you give the gift of forgiveness to others, you receive the gift of peace.
This was taken from AHC Newsletter, available at: www.coachingtowardhappiness.com
posted by D Ed. | 12:11 PM
4 Comments:
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Forgiveness is so important to every aspect of self responsibility that InnerTalk gives there patented and proven effective Forgiving and Letting Go CD or tape away. Try it--it works! Go to www.innertalk.com.
Some say forgiving is Divine--but now-a-days it's almost essential unless we want to live in fear and anger. There are some absolutely free programs (subliminal and hypnosis) available from Eldon Taylor's site at www.innertalk.com/ They helped me.
The blog world is a great source of info. There are some free subliminal tools for fear and promoting forgiveness at www.innertalk.com/ They work for me.
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